I write to you from the heart of an on-going emergency. Somebody or something keeps digging holes in the notionally shared lawn outside my block, and the neighbours who actually own their flats are mounting a witchhunt. It’s brilliant! They’ve been taking photos from multiple angles and accusing the local kids. As far as I’m concerned, all this is divine vengeance on the building owner for having somebody mow the grass twice a month. It looks like the Bay Of Tranquility out there. The holes are an improvement. Anyway, here’s what we’re all playing this weekend.