„We replaced our workflows with Whispr. What we lost in productivity, we gained in existential clarity.“
🌀 TL;DR
I created a fake startup — Whispr — that offers “Silence-as-a-Service.”
It’s a parody of Silicon Valley’s obsession with productivity, clarity, and solving human connection with tools.
I made up metrics like Neural Quietude Index™ and Void Engagement Coefficient.
Then I built a fake landing page, designed a logo like I paid Pentagram, and wrote testimonials from fictional executives like Zenith Voidwalker.
The real product was the mirror.
🤖 Why I Did It
Let’s be honest: most of us in tech don’t talk to each other, we communicate via tooling.
We worship process and abstraction. We confuse “talking about the thing” with “doing the thing.”
So I asked:
What happens if we remove all communication and pretend that’s an upgrade?
🧘 What Is Whispr?
“The OS of Nonverbal Presence.”
Whispr is a fully silent productivity platform.
It replaces your meetings with ambient presence.
It quantifies your stillness using sacred-sounding equations.
It says nothing — but says it beautifully.
The branding is pure Silicon Valley:
- Jargonized fake metrics ✅
- Monospace font and sacred geometry ✅
- A tagline that feels like it could be AI-generated or Buddhist ✅
🔗 You can experience the void here
🧬 The Real Experiment
❓What happens when you parody an industry so well it starts to look real?
- People started asking for the SDK.
- One VC asked if it was invite-only.
- A designer offered to “collab on the brand strategy of the void.”
The fun part?
The more absurd I got, the more believable it became.
🧠 Psychological Breakdown
🗣 The Noise Economy
Modern dev culture has over-optimized for:
- Articulating ideas
- Framing narratives
- Over-documenting “value”
We don’t build products.
We build performance rituals of doing work.
In that space, Whispr isn’t satire — it’s just… slightly ahead.
🧽 The Social Theater of Tech
Whispr exposes how much of work is social positioning:
- Saying “let’s circle back” instead of “I don’t know”
- Writing strategy docs that no one reads
- Designing decks to impress other decks
Silence removed all that.
And that’s terrifying.
🚨 What I Learned
- Good satire should feel plausible to those it mocks.
- Tech loves mysticism when it’s dressed in metrics.
- If you make your BS beautiful enough, someone will fund it.
🪫 Final Thought
Whispr was never about silence.
It was about the techno-rituals we mistake for clarity.
The sacred equations. The dashboard-driven lives. The branding-first, product-second ethos.
In pretending to launch a joke, I accidentally diagnosed a condition.
“Whispr changed nothing. That was the point.”
— Me, probably mid-existential crisis, but silently.