The demo for 500 FINGER FILLET taught me that none of you should let me anywhere near a kitchen knife, also can someone call a doctor

I have learned something about myself today: I shouldn't be allowed near kitchen utensils. This is a problem because I am the cook of the house, and yet my time with the demo for 500 FINGER FILLET proves most unanimously that I am going to cut one, maybe more, of my fingers off. It feels like an inevitability, one I can't escape from, because I did in fact cut off almost every single finger on my left hand in 500…

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